Leaving Home

One stormy night a few months ago, strong winds battered the gate to our house and our dog, Zeus, a beautiful Labrador, got out and never returned.

We got Zeus when he was barely three months old in 2009, a Christmas gift for our children. He’s a playful dog and loves to nibble on anything: newly potted plants, wooden furniture and footwear were among his favorites. Almost all of our furniture has nibble marks, and we’ve had to throw away a few pairs of shoes and slippers that we carelessly left outside the door.


The children adored him, when he was a puppy he slept in the kids’ room. He loved to fetch, and loved to have you run after him to play tug-o-war with whatever it was you had him fetch – an empty soda bottle, a stick, a chewed up slipper. He can be intimidating too – he wasn’t that tall nor long, but he was bulky and had a deep baritone for a bark. Those he scared just didn’t know that his barks were simply an invitation to play.

Last year, a friend offered one of their Labrador’s puppies to us, a female that we named Juno. We thought she’d be a perfect match for Zeus. In the days leading to that stormy night, we noticed several times how Zeus would try to mate with Juno. She must be going in heat soon, we thought.

And then it happened, got out. He loved darting out of the gate whenever we opened it. He even learned how to pretend not to be interested in escaping, and silly us fell for it often – we’d open the gate and in the blink of an eye he’s out. He would not answer to anyone’s call, one of us would have to run after him and lead him back home. We were confident that he was just in the neighbourhood, waiting to be fetched.

There were several sightings in the days, weeks that followed, but we never saw him again. After more than a month, the sightings stopped and we thought: somebody must have taken him in already. We were sad, of course, the kids specially. Even Juno was, we noticed. But at some point, I became somewhat angry at Zeus. How can he do this to us? We fed him, and fed him well. We played with him whenever we can, took him on trips around town whenever we had the chance. He loved having a specific spot on his belly rubbed, and we obliged and I found it amusing how, whenever we would miss that area by even just a inch, he would use his paws to guide our hand to the right spot.

But then I thought, there was something he needed, perhaps, that we couldn’t provide that he found somewhere else. He yearned for something, and we didn’t have that – our home didn’t have that.

Several good friends are leaving for foreign shores soon. They’re leaving as a group, almost all of them were born and raised in Baguio. They’re very, very good at what they do, no wonder they easily passed the audition for that gig. I’m not sure about the rest but I know a couple of them would rather not leave home. But they are left with no choice, home doesn’t have what they want, need. No, they’re not asking for the moon really, just a fair fighting chance in this crazy world.

They’re not alone, in fact here are many of them – artists, doctors, nurses, teachers, a lot of them would rather stay home but are left with no other choice but to grin and bear it, bite the bullet, be away for a while, sometimes a long while, from their loved ones, for what? What were those again? Food, clothing, shelter? Some peace of mind. Freedom from anxiety. A future that’s just a little brighter.

Never mind the ones who are leaving because they want to, those who've totally lost faith in this nation, have pledged allegiance to a different flag, but my heart bleeds for those who have to leave home because they need to. It’s not easy. I've tried leaving once, and I just couldn't.

We are among the countries with the richest natural resources in the world, and we live in one of the most beautiful cities in this country. Why are they leaving? Because As big as that pie is, only a few enjoy the lion’s share of it, while the rest are left with crumbs – that’s how it is in this country, and it’s how it is in this city.

What can I say, but fare thee well. Fare thee well.

Behind the fog: keep an eye out

The sunflowers are out, and in Baguio, that means Christmas is just around the corner.

Our two elder children spent most of their lives in Manila, but spent most of their holidays in the summer and Christmas up here. One time, when we entertained the thought of moving down to Manila those two said: we cannot imagine spending Christmas elsewhere but in Baguio so if you do move to the lowlands, you have to make sure that we spend Decembers up there.

How can you blame them – the chill, the fog, the nights warmed by a fireplace or a bonfire, nothing compares to a Christmas in Baguio.

I don’t mean to be a Scrooge here, but in the last couple of years, it seems that bad things are hatched during this time of the year here in our beloved city. Take the SM expansion plan, for example, which was announced at around December of 2011 with plans to start construction early the following year. They probably thought that catching the community by surprise that way would not give them enough time to voice out their opposition. Thanks to the likes of Michael Bengwayan, Chyt Daytec, the Cordillera Global Network led by Atty. Chris Donaal, Glo Abaeo and Gideon Omero and the thousands of concerned citizens who took the streets to stop the sacrifice of 182 trees for a parking facility.

The following Christmas, alliances were made, holy and otherwise, in preparation for the 2013 elections. We ended up with the same old faces up in City Hall whose concept of development is limited to the use of chainsaws, bulldozers and cement mixers, which meant more woes for this abused city in the years to come.

Christmas 2013, a party was allegedly held at an alleged private property on top of a prominent mountain in the city allegedly attended by who’s who in the local media community allegedly hosted by a public official newly-elected to a new position who during the campaign swore to be a protector of the environment. That same property is now in the middle of a controversy and a serious environmental issue when more than 700 trees were mowed down to pave the way for a planned resort. Between the time of that party and the time some concerned citizens discovered the massacre of trees, not a squeak was heard from the media personnel who were at that party who knew of the plan as early as then.

What are we saying? It’s Christmas time once again, go visit the Christmas Village at the Country Club, or maybe the light and sound show at The Manor or the artificial snow fall at Le Monet, enjoy the chill at any one of the remaining parks in the city, or simply, let’s be merry and make it as meaningful as possible, but keep an eye out for it is during this time of the year, under cover of fog, that shenanigans usually occur in our beloved city.

In Baguio, happiness costs 37 million pesos (and the City Government says it can't afford it)

In the last few years, the skating rink has been functioning as practically anything except what it was originally intended for. Sure, one may still go there and skate around the rink, but first you pay a rink fee if you brought your own skates, and you would have to contend with the throngs of people walking around the rink who are there for the restaurant, the arcade games or the bumper cars. The rink has been fenced in with what looks like chicken wire that screams “this is private property.”

Former barangay captain Ferdy Bayasen spearheaded the petition, which gathered strong support both online and out in the streets of Baguio. See, aside from being a maverick of a public official (his barangay has a no-plastic bags policy and maintains its own composting facility), the guy is also an avid fitness buff and can regularly be seen sweating it out at the park in the mornings either jogging, doing zumba and aerobics offered practically for free by concerned citizens.

The petition has already been submitted to the mayor’s office, where they were told by no less than the chief executive himself that areas of the park really need to be privatized so the city government will have a source of funds for the upkeep of the park. Did you know that they spend 37 million pesos annually for the maintenance of the park?

37 million does sound a lot, but if you look at it from a non-trapo point of view you will realize that it is a small price to pay considering what Burnham Park offers the citizens of Baguio. It is the most accessible to both residents and tourists. Here, children get to breathe relatively clean air as the park still enjoys some tree cover. Here, they get to play, get closer to nature, socialize with other children, bond with their parents and loved ones. A day at the park does wonders to the well-being of people – one goes home feeling rejuvenated, renewed – unlike spending a day at the mall where one goes home feeling exhausted.

But these are benefits that cannot be counted by the City Treasurer’s office, and if it they can’t quantify it, then it has no use for them.

Aside from the skating rink, how about the benefits our citizens, our children, get from the Athletic Bowl, which the city government has been itching to privatize, or from the Melvin Jones grounds, which the mayor has been envisioning as a concrete parking facility.

How much does the city spend for their inefficient efforts to address our garbage crisis? How about the 120 million pesos spent on those virtually useless ERS machines? There’s another example of a misdirected, Band-Aid initiative. These millions they willingly spend, yet they rue the mere 37 million spent on Burnham Park. I wonder how much the mayor thinks the city should spend for the well-being of its citizens?

And really, 37 million pesos? It would be nice to have this amount audited because, frankly, I don’t see that much money being spent there. .

Besides, so what if that's how much it costs to maintain Bunrham Park? Because, really, how does one put a price on children's laughter, on people's happiness?

Banking on the BSP

Image lifted from Faura online

A year into the protest against SM’s plan to remove 182 trees on Luneta Hill, some of us in the protest movement received a call from Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas Luzon Regional Office personnel inviting us for a dialogue. They wanted our opinion and inputs if any on their planned construction of a branch inside the National Food Authority property in Loakan, Baguio City.

There are 300 pine trees in the proposed site that may be affected by the construction. They presented initial drawings and we expressed our respective opinions. Present then were some personalities involved in the protest against SM City Baguio’s expansion plan along with a representative of the Diocese of Baguio in the person of Fr. Manny Flores.

The common concern was of course how to minimize the impact of the project on the environment – from the time of the start of construction to the facility’s eventual operation. Suggestions were offered: walk the extra mile to first minimize the number of trees that would be affected, then another extra mile not to harm the trees that would be left untouched during the construction to the removal of the proposed basketball court that would add to the size of the area that would require concreting.

Fast forward to November 15, 2014, another meeting was called.

I, along with Engr. Nelson Alabanza and local environment advocate Gideon Omero trooped to the Baguio Country Club where BSP personnel led by Diwa C. Guinigundo, BSP Deputy Governor for
Monetary Stability Sector have prepared a presentation to various stakeholders which included Kag. Virgilio Bautista of the barangay concerned.

We welcomed the inclusion of some of our suggestions in the latest version of the proposed construction plan. There will still be trees that would be affected, approximately 20% of the 300 trees therein, but they’re still working on the plans to even lessen that number. The basketball court has been removed from the plan, and our latest suggestion was taken into consideration: instead of concreting a portion of the property for a parking lot, why not just use gravel instead so as not to affect the areas water absorption capacity too much and perhaps they can turn the remaining natural space into an ecological sanctuary that they can open to the community. And in their effort to plant more trees in all available spaces within the property, we also encouraged them to plant endemic species.

The BSP also committed to making both the construction and the operation of the facility as environment-friendly as possible. In the meantime, what would the benefits of having a BSP branch Baguio have? Help boost the local economy; ensure that the city meets its currency requirements including always having fresh clean bank notes (also a sanitary concern, really); make available a learning hub; offer better consumer protection and stronger ties between the city and the Banko Sentral, among others.

The plan presented isn’t final yet, but we already appreciate the effort they’re exerting in holding public consultations before going ahead with the project, unlike the SM expansion plan which was already scheduled to commence when it was made public. In the end, the BSP also committed to get the nod of the USGBC via a LEED certification to ensure that their proposed project is, indeed, sincerely as environment-friendly as possible. And we’re banking on the BSP to honor these commitments, and perhaps serve as a role model for future construction projects in the city.

Noli me tangere in the time of Binay, et al

The abuse now comes not from the hands of colonizers, but of our countrymen, and the primary cause of our misery comes not from the abuses themselves but from our refusal to see these abuses for what they truly are - crimes against the people. Noli me tangere, Jose Rizal called his portrait of Philippine society more than a century ago - do not touch it, do not talk about it, know that it exists yet just grin and bear it.

It's how it was then, it's how it still is now. Rizal, through Padre Florentino in the latter part of the sequel to Noli, EL Filibusterismo, asked what need we have for freedom when the slaves of today are the tyrants of tomorrow?

Jejomar Binay, Vice President of the Republic of the Philippines, current front-runner in the race to Malacanang in 2016, is at the center of the country's attention. We did this to Makati, we can do the same for the rest of the country - that sums up his justification for his ambition to become the next President of this country - he offers images of high-rise buildings, underpasses with escalators, luxury cars along the streets of the Central Business District where Dionisia Pacquiao can purchase a handbag that costs as much as three years' worth of blood, sweat and tears for the common Filipino worker. Hidden beyond the concrete monuments is the rest of Makati, representative of the rest of this country: Filipinos living below the poverty, nay, dignity line. 

The ongoing Senate hearings on corruption charges against Binay and his family want to turn our attention to the systematic, institutionalized plunder of the city's coffers that's been going on for as long as the Binays have been in power in Makati that made it possible for the family to own what's been alleged as "Hacienda Binay," the size of which can probably provide land to all of the thousands of Makati's homeless and more.

Why aren't there a million people massing up along EDSA, a  million voices calling for justice? Because to a lot of us, being in power means getting away with plunder, an opportunity to serve selfish interests. For if not, nobody would dignify the moro-moro that is Philippine elections - for how can anyone justify spending millions of pesos to win a seat that would pay a few thousands a month for the next three years? 

Try tallying up the cost of winning the chairmanship of any one of Baguio's biggest barangays, put it next to how much a barangay captain gets as salary. "Ang swerte naman niya," we say about the young man who's been accepted to the police force, not because he has been given the chance to serve the community, but because he now has the opportunity to get his hands dirty with money earned questionably.  

A cancer that's spread from head to toe, that's how deeply rooted corruption is in this country. Public service is an empty concept for most - the public's welfare can easily be set aside for the opportunity to pocket SOPs from inane public infrastructure projects like parking lots and gates in parks, throw in dozens of monograms on overpasses and waiting sheds. 

But consider, too, the role models this country had - the friars and governors-general for three centuries, the yanks for half, fellow Asians for a few years, no wonder we had Ferdinand Marcos for a couple of decades and two plundering presidents more recently one after the other. For that's what we were taught power translates to: impunity. It's time we change that. 

I've said this before and I say it again - for all of the failings of PNoy's administration, perceived or otherwise, it's efforts to punish people in power for crimes against the people is setting this country on the right track. But that "daang matuwid," as straight as it can be, is an uphill one and we can only get this country up there if most of us will get behind and help push it up. It's time we say no, being the president, vice president, a senator, congressman, governor, mayor, barangay captain, policeman, a person behind the desk at any government office does not give you the right to steal from the people, to take away hope from the farmers in the fields, the workers who carry hollow blocks on their backs from sun up to sun down, the children who walk kilometers before sunrise to get to school in time to sing "Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi ang mamatay ng dahil sa'yo." 

Really, it is not, well, "OK lang" for people in power to steal, whether billions of pesos or a ream of bond paper, from the people. If the Binays, Revillas, Enriles, Estradas and for that matter, the Aquinos, et al did commit crimes against the people, they must be punished.   

Let me quote, albeit with a bit of paraphrasing, from playwright Malou Jacob's translation of Padre Florentino's conclusion in El Filibusterismo in the play, "Pepe" - 

Ang ating kasamaan ay sa atin din buhat, huwag natin sisisihin ang kahit sino. Hanggang ang bayang Pilipino ay wala pang sapat na tibay ng loob upang ipahayag ang kanyang karapatan sa lipunan at patibayin ito, sa pamamagitan ng sakripisyo ng ating sariling dugo, samantalang namamasdan natin ang ating mga kababayan na nakikisama sa mga nang-aabuso, upang kutyain ang ang mga inabuso. At hangga’t nakikita nating pinupuri sa tulong ng pilit na ngiti ang mga lalong nahahalay na kagagawan, at nagmamaka-awang humingi sa pamamagitan ng tingin ng isang bahagi ng napala.

Be and let be

It’s a simple question nobody seems to have a simple answer to: why are some people gay?

I was invited to be a speaker at the 5th Parents’ Congress organized by the Child & Family Service Philippines and the SLU Sunflower Children’s Center last October 11, and I was assigned this topic: “Doing Good for our LGBT Children: Psychological Tips on Raising Happy Gay Kids.”

I arrived early so I got to listen to the presentation of Ms. Annie Salvador, and she said something that almost made me review my own presentation, perhaps even revise it: according to research, “homosexuality MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY learned or acquired.” Caps mine.

I sat there, waiting for my turn at the podium, thinking: I don’t have scientific research or studies to cite, and only had experience to go by. Does that count?

Because, see, I was born in the 70s, to a mother who’s a theater actress. You know what they say about theater, so yeah, I grew up surrounded by gay people. In fact, I was told that at my Christening, all my godparents were gay men save for one woman. One of them found time to gather butterflies to release in church to celebrate my baptism. Another came in drag.

Later in life, at 14, I myself would enter the world of theater. My very first professional gig was directed by a brilliant theater artist - gay. That production was handled by one of the best stage managers in the industry - gay. I was curious about what goes on backstage and worked as a stagehand for a while before eventually becoming a stage manager myself eventually. And as one, I got to work with some of the greatest theater artists in the country, and a lot of them were gay.

In all those years working for various theater companies in Manila, easily half, maybe more, of my colleagues and friends were either gay, lesbian or bisexual. I even learned to speak the lingo, which prompted my own mom to ask me one night: are you gay?

So why am I straight? All the “ingredients” were present for me to “learn” or “acquire” homosexuality. Heck, I even found my gay-couple friends’ relationships kinda cool that I actually wondered if I could ever be in one. But when I thought about it, I found the idea of myself being intimate with another man repulsive, perhaps in the same way that a gay man would find the idea of being intimate with a woman repulsive too. Bisexuals are kinda lucky, if you ask me.

On the other hand, I have a son who was raised in a “straight” environment – as a child we played all those “masculine” games, I taught him to climb trees, play basketball, hit cans with a slingshot, he had monster trucks and action figures, etc. He’s gay, and proud of it, as I am of him too.

See, from where I stand, it’s not a virus, nor a bacterium that anyone can catch. Nor is it a “mannerism” or “skill” that can be learned or acquired. We are either born straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual – some of us embrace our sexual orientation, whatever that may be, and live happily outside the closet, others spend their lives inside it and in denial, oftentimes forced to do so by external influences: relations, peers, community, society.

But who can really deny nature? Dams burst because we try to deny water’s nature. Grass will grow no matter how many times you mow the lawn. Birds in cages can never be as beautiful as the ones soaring in the sky.

So yeah, be and let be.

On October 16, 2014 (Sunny side up)

count your blessings, one coin
at a time
the garbage truck's late
today and
the car's all out of gas

so you walk, and walk some more
carry all that stuff
on your back
and one by one
you drop them
leaving traces on the ground

just remember never to walk this way again


Today's happiness is two sunny side up eggs.